The Deeper Yes
When Creativity Becomes a Habit of Survival
A few days ago, I found myself staring at yet another application deadline. For years, I would have completed it without much hesitation. A fellowship. A grant. A residency. Another opportunity to support a writing life that often felt precarious.
In those years, applications were not simply applications. They were a form of hope. Sometimes they were a form of survival. A stipend could mean a few months of breathing room. A fellowship could mean time to write. A grant could mean not having to choose between creative work and paying bills. So I applied again and again, submitting and applying until the rhythm became almost automatic.
For a long time, that rhythm made sense.
But this week something unexpected happened. I decided not to apply. Not because the project wasn’t worthwhile and not because I didn’t have an idea. In fact, the opposite happened. The more I thought about the children’s book I wanted to develop, the clearer it became. The story …
